when to call yourself an artist

Each artist has their own timeline for when they become comfortable calling themselves an artist. Learning how to make art in a way that is uniquely your own, that can express what you want to express, is a sensitive process. It requires fighting through feelings of insecurity constantly. There are all sorts of uncomfortable stages… is this me? what have I done to this piece today? what direction am I going in? am I capable of making this vision?

Ultimately, we learn to push through. In high school I knew I wanted to take art more seriously in college, possibly minor in it. I was privileged to attend a university where I could join the art program without having to be accepted into it with a portfolio. I took art classes with talented individuals who had already been ready at the end of high school to attend amazing art schools, like my dear friends Lu Adami and Wendy Cohen. Working alongside my talented peers got me accustomed to those uncomfortable feelings. I built the necessary art muscles of learning to only compare myself to my own work and my own improvement. Luckily, our community was supportive and welcoming. I never felt belittled by my art peers, which I seriously appreciate looking back now.

At our school we did not have minors, so my options were to double major in art and computer science, or just take art classes without declaring the second major. For my first two years of college, I spent a lot of time thinking about this decision. I kept my eyes on the art major requirements to keep up so I would always have the option of declaring.

Then it was the fall of my junior year, and I was going to study abroad in Granada, Spain the following semester. I knew from the requirements to get the art major I would have to get credit for an art history class abroad. To get credits abroad, you had to get them pre-approved by your advisor, which meant I had to declare my major then if I wanted it.

Finally being forced to make the decision made me realize how much I wanted to finally embrace this identity of being an artist. I only recently realized why it took me so long to make the decision. It was not because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be an artist. It was because I was afraid to admit how badly I wanted to be one.

Declaring my art major changed everything for me. Finally embracing that identity led to my art practice exploding. I painted so much in Granada that my painting teacher there got me my first solo exhibition, Juega. (miss you, Alhambra!)

So, when do you do it? When do you say that you’re an artist? Do you wait for your friends to see you that way? Do you wait until you feel you’ve completely mastered your craft? I think you simply wait until you believe that you’ll be able to figure it out. It’s not something anyone else can give you. You don’t need a formal art education or a personal history of making art as a child. Ultimately, being an artist is about having the confidence that you’ll be able to move forward. That’s all it is. Your work will change and evolve, you’ll improve, get stuck, and feel insecure. It’s the pushing through that counts, and you can learn to do it.

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